SPOOKY SEASON COMMENCES

The leaves are begining to turn on the trees, the sunlight is increasingly low in the sky (and right in the eyes, unfortunately) in the late afternoons, my thoughts turn toward old movies like The House on Haunted Hill and 13 Ghosts, and my casual rememberances bring up images like my old Ben Cooper Incredible Hulk Costume and the Collegeville "skeleton" suit that I was willing to wear to preschool but afraid to actually look at. In short: Hallowe'en is a-coming in. I always entertain these grand notions about decorating the front and back yard creatively (and sometimes make it partway there), but my prime directive for H-Ween 2026 is to keep it fun, lean towards quaint and whimsical, stay away from gruesome-and-grim "horror" imagery and play up the Kooky & Spooky. One important question that I haven't touched upon, either personally or publicly: what am I gonna do for a costume? Some kinda decrepit guy in a waistcoat, I'm thinking. Zacherley?



LOCAL BANDS SEEN

The popular favorites include Fog Lamp, Tropisphere, the Wind-Ups and, I think, Replica Watch (at 924 Gilman, with its slickly-polished concrete floor). There is good music happening...in your area!




THE BIG TIME


My  name is Greta Forzane. Twenty-nine and a party girl would describe me. I was born in Chicago, of Scandinavian parents, but now I operate chiefly outside space and time—not in Heaven or Hell, if there are such places, but not in the cosmos or universe you know either.

I am not as romantically entrancing as the immortal film star who also bears my first name, but I have a rough-and-ready charm of my own. I need it, for my job is to nurse back to health and kid back to sanity Soldiers badly roughed up in the biggest war going. This war is the Change War, a war of time travelers—in fact, our private name for being in this war is being on the Big Time. Our Soldiers fight by going back to change the past, or even ahead to change the future, in ways to help our side win the final victory a billion or more years from now. A long killing business, believe me.

You don't know about the Change War, but it's influencing your lives all the time and maybe you've had hints of it without realizing.

Have you ever worried about your memory, because it doesn't seem to be bringing you exactly the same picture of the past from one day to the next? Have you ever been afraid that your personality was changing because of forces beyond your knowledge or control? Have you ever felt sure that sudden death was about to jump you from nowhere? Have you ever been scared of Ghosts—not the story-book kind, but the billions of beings who were once so real and strong it's hard to believe they'll just sleep harmlessly forever? Have you ever wondered about those things you may call devils or Demons—spirits able to range through all time and space, through the hot hearts of stars and the cold skeleton of space between the galaxies? Have you ever thought that the whole universe might be a crazy, mixed-up dream? If you have, you've had hints of the Change War.

How I got recruited into the Change War, how it's conducted, what the two sides are, why you don't consciously know about it, what I really think about it—you'll learn in due course.



CHANT PREMIER

Lecteur, c'est peut-être la haine que tu veux que j'invoque dans le commencement de cet ouvrage! Qui te dit que tu n'en renifleras pas, baigné dans d'innombrables voluptés, tant que tu voudras, avec tes narines orgueilleuses, larges et maigres, en te renversant de ventre, pareil à un requin, dans l'air beau et noir, comme si tu comprenais l'importance de cet acte et l'importance non moindre de ton appétit légitime, lentement et majestueusement, les rouges émanations? Je t'assure, elles réjouiront les deux trous informes de ton museau hideux, ô monstre, si toutefois tu t'appliques auparavant à respirer trois mille fois de suite la conscience maudite de l'Éternel! Tes narines, qui seront démesurément dilatées de contentement ineffable, d'extase immobile, ne demanderont pas quelque chose de meilleur à l'espace, devenu embaumé comme de parfums et d'encens; car, elles seront rassasiées d'un bonheur complet, comme les anges qui habitent dans la magnificence et la paix des agréables cieux. All this and more, friend, if you're willing to commit to learning French like you were back in autumn of 1998.