B-52’s “WHAMMY” LP

Here's the genius stroke on my part - since I now have insta-access to pretty much all the LPs ever released (thanks to newfangled streaming services), I might as well circle back and listen to all the sell-out, major-lable new wave records from the early 1980s that I never got around to hearing or outright avoided. That is to say, releases by Cyndi Lauper, Duran Duran, Pet Shop Boys, and the like. I drafted a basic list of ten records that I'll be meeting for the first time. The first entry in the series is the third LP by the B-52s, Whammy, which I've literally seen on record shop shelves for 40 years (and never really noticed the intense cocaine vibes exuded by the cover photo - they're practically wading in it).

Leaping into this without any prior exposure, I immediately notice that their sound is now really, really drum-machine driven. Like, with big synth-whomp rhythms that make me recall the Units' New Way to Move LP, which suggests the band were getting more into dance-floor drug action and stepping away from their original deconstructed surf/noise/camp aesthetic. It doesn't have the classic tunes found on their first two albums, and there's little space in the music for dynamics and soft vs loud. It's all hammer-hammer-hammer, relentlessly. Vocals are downplayed, and the inherent tunefulness is lost in favor of mechanistic repetition.

It does, however, include the song with the line "do you wanna be the captain of the Enterprise/Do you wanna be the Daughter of Dracula," which is probably the first song I ever heard by them back around the time this came out. "Let's meet and have a baby now," etc.

Will I Listen to it Again: Probably not, but I'm glad I gave it an honest attempt. I think other members of my household may dig it.


CYNDI LAUPER "SHE'S SO UNUSUAL" LP

Back to it. Is two posts in the same day cheating? I'm choosing to assume that it isn't. This is a record that I have probably almost-completely heard in my day, since so much of it was released as singles and it received very heavy circulation in the rock video channels of the early 1980s. Anyway, it's the debut solo LP by Cyndi Lauper in her original incarnation as the Thrift Store Urchin From Some Unknown NY Borough. My first exposure to her music was at Jason Stewart's Christmas party in December 1983 - I saw the "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" video on a tiny black-and-white television set, and was interested in the cute chicks with new wave hair.

Anyway, the hits are all here. "Time After Time," "Girls Just Want to Have Fun," "She Bop," plus some covers of people like Prince. It has very much more of a full-bodied "rock" sound than any kind of a groundbreaking "alternative" aesthetic. The punk of this record doesn't stretch too far beyond her stylistic trappings and hair. But that's all right. It's a fun and infectious listen, mostly thanks to the strength of her personality. The plinky old-timey feel of "He's So Unusual" is probably the high point of the LP for me, really.

Will I Listen to it Again: I might revisit the video for "Girls..." around Christmas, but no, I probably won't plunk this one on again in the foreseeable future. But there's plenty to admire and cherish here, and I'm glad I heard it all the way through.


DURAN DURAN "SEVEN & THE RAGGED TIGER" LP

I went into this one with some trepidation, and really, can you believe me? This thing got bad reviews back when it was fresh off the press, and I read them. I think John Silviera wrote one that appeared in The Knight's Herald back at the time (he liked it), and I've read capsule reviews in places like Trouser Press Record Guide and whatnot. As part of this project I'm realizing how closely I followed new wave developments even when I was focusing on bands like X, Black Flag and the Germs. I guess if you turned on a TV set or walked into a record shop, Duran Duran were inescapable. For the record, I did like the hits that appeared on their debut album and Rio. And I remember two girls in my 8th grade English class playing certain tracks as a counterpoint to Mr. Colton's week-long examination of the Beatles recorded output.

Anyway, this record is not good. The reviewers in 1984 were right. Most of it seems to come down to weak, weak songwriting and some terrible vocal histrionics from Simon LeBon. "New Moon on Monday" and "The Reflex" are all right, but overly drawn-out and stuttering, rather that (sorry) sinuous. The LP boasts 4-5 tracks that are straight-up filler and clearly crafted to pad out the LP to the required 35-minute length. You also get the sense that the guitar-playing faction of the band were itching to rock out, an impulse that was clearly satisfied by the formation of the Power Station around this time. In short, this one rates a confirmed nuh-uh from my unbiased ears.

Will I Listen to it Again: I will not...sorry, guys. At least they're still at it, and seem nice. Also noted: the instrumental "Tiger Tiger" is one of the more listenable tracks on the album. No singing.


PET SHOP BOYS "PLEASE" LP

Well, here I go. Of all the records reviewed in this brief series, this is probably the most critically-approved (if people like Andrew Harrison or Dorian Lynskey count as "critics"), and they're one of the few notable producers here that are still generating culturally-relevant material and tweaking social convention, however politely. I know the hits: "West End Girls" is on here, as is "Opportunities" and other tracks I've heard in spite of myself since the mid 1980s.You know how it goes. "I've got the brains, you've got the looks, let's make lots of money."

The stuff on here has dated more favorably than, say, the Thompson Twins.The tunes still have an arch, glossy sheen, the sentiments are detached and remote, there's a sense of after-hours adventure and cab-hopping and club-hopping. Not every melody is notable. Sometimes it's all hat, and no cattle to go with it. I'm told that these guys differed from other synth-popists in that they played samples of physical instruments (giving it a sense of realism) on a Fairlight, rather than bang away on monosynths like your Depeche Modes or Human Leagues would have.

Will I Listen to it Again: Do I like it? Probably. I admire Neil Tennant for his droll wit, his deadpan delivery, and the unexpected reality that used to edit comics over at Marvel UK in the mid-1970s. I'll certainly hear "West End Girls" again, and hum along with its rumbling synth-bass, though I may not dig into the camp Willie Nelson covers that came after.


OINGO BOINGO "NOTHING TO FEAR" LP

"I've put this off far too long," like Bilbo Baggins once said in the old Peter Jackson movie. I only just listened to Oingo Boingo's 1982 LP Nothing to Fear for the first time before X-Mas, but for a number of reasons, I didn't find the time or energy to write a retrospective review until this morning. Of all the records I've listened to during this project, this is probably the one with the strongest overall point of view. Songwriting, lyrics, delivery and production are all very full-bodied and powerful, and the complete package extends all the way down to the childishly-appropriate cover art. One can certainly see how this would have led to a powerhouse career in film and TV scoring for Daniel Elfman - some of the LPs I've revisited lately have a slick sound with synth bells & whistles, but very little going on in terms of composition. That's not the case here.

That said, it does suffer from a few quirks that would have been seen as "positives" back in 1982: Elfman's yelp-whoop vocal style (very much in the vein of guys like Adam Ant or Simon LeBon), some troublingly insensitive lyrics, and the tendency to "try on" certain genres like white-boy funk chonk guitar or plastic ska.The full-bodied "rock" stylings are convincing and powerful. So, yeah, I like it overall.

Will I Listen to it Again: Probably, yeah. It's not entirely my thing, but there's enough going on here to warrant my attention and make for productive additional listens.


EURHYTHMICS "SWEET DREAMS" LP

First off, let me say that the band name is very hard to spell correctly. I'm surprised that they ran with it (and had a fair degree of success in the process). Second, this isn't completely fair to include this on an "unheard" list, as I did borrow the LP from one of my sisters at the time, and probably played it through at least once.
 
My junior-high reaction was that it was boring, dirgey, and not as catchy as the single that was all over the airwaves. Anyway, time to revisit it and rethink it after a couple decades of listening to minimal synth pop (and it just occurred to me that I had a poster of the duo on my bedroom wall around the 1983-84 school year). So there must have been something that appealed to me.

First thoughts: it has a very familiar drum-machine thunk sound, and is devoid of the slick professionalism of Yazoo or even early Vince Clark-era Depeche Mode. Annie Lennox' voice is pretty much the only selling point here. I can only imagine that Alison Moyet felt threatened. Of all the non-hits, "I've Got an Angel" seems to be quoting Suicide's keyboard sounds indirectly (the riff sounds a bit like "Ghost Rider"), and is again driven by the vocals. Drum machine sounds like the one Kraftwerk employed on the Trans-Europa Express LP. The cover of "Wrap it Up" isn't to my liking, but is a useful indication of the direction the band traveled on future releases. At this early stage, they occupy a space somewhere between the Human League's Dare and Yazoo's Upstairs at Eric's.

Will I Listen to it Again: Yeah, I might. The minimal synth backdrop is very much in line with music I enjoy these days, and the vocal histrionics aren't as grating as they were for bands like Yazoo or Soft Cell. I certainly don't want to delve into the later schlock-pop releases, but this one has some repeat value.


HOWARD JONES "HUMAN'S LIB" LP

This is the record that derailed the entire project, and this blog in general. It's that much of an obstacle. Upon first (or second, or probably third) listen, there is very little to enjoy here. Yeah, it includes the single "New Song," which I enjoyed in junior high school and had a quirky, low-budget rock video that was in frequent rotation on TBS' Night Tracks. To its credit, it boasts a couple other tunes with vaguely catchy synth basslines (like "Conditioning," probably the most listenable song on the record). But the rest of the record consists of turgid ballads that were clearly reheated leftovers from Jones' career as a 1970s solo singer/songwriter, and were just transposed from acoustic guitar to Roland polysynth, or whatever instrument he happened to employ.

Really, the notable thing about this particular record is that, one fateful afternoon in June of 1984, I walked to the Record Factory on McHenry near Orangeburg with my 8th grade graduation money, with the intention of buying it on cassette. But instead I walked out with My War by Black Flag, which was a real paradigm shift and a beginning of a new epoch. Talk about a fork in the road.

Will I Listen to it Again: No, I will not. Without guilt.


THOMPSON TWINS "INTO THE GAP" LP

Presenting another record I very nearly bought in 1984 (but, thankfully, Young Me made better choices and probably got Talking Heads' Speaking in Tongues instead). It's also another record (like Cyndi Lauper's She's So Unusual) that I almost feel I owned, because the hits were played with merciless frequency when it was new and you couldn't escape them. I must have heard "Doctor Doctor" and "Hold Me Now" a hundred times without meaning to, and can picture all the edits and cuts and camera angles from the music videos. Heavily styled and relentlessly promoted, the Thompson Twins were a kind of acceptable MOR new wave power trio meant to appeal to Boomers (who were still in their 30s) and, I think, prepubescent girls that looked up to Alanna Currie and thought Tom Bailey was a dreamboat. The fact that I still remember their names (and don't forget Joe Leeway!) is testament to how effectively they were marketed.

That's not to imply that it's completely without merit. I don't particularly dig the two big hits (already mentioned), but one can't deny that they're catchy tunes and their choruses are memorable. Whether or not one wants to remember them is another issue, but that's a matter of individual preference. The record is almost completely free of guitar and bass (audible as snippets on one or two tunes), the production choices are very similar to those made on records like Private Dancer, No Jacket Required or Seven & The Ragged Tiger, and everything apart from the Intentional Hit Singles sounds half-baked, underwritten, and compulsory. Nothing but love songs, and 75% filler with a brief run time. In fairness, it isn't a wholly wretched exercise like Human's Lib, and at least boasts a feeling of youthfulness, naivete and willingness to please.

The reality that the Thompson Twins are largely forgotten (despite "Doctor Doctor" and "Hold Me Now" still being in constant oldies rotation, even now) seems to reinforce the validity of my opinion, though I'm sure they have a dedicated cult following who attend conventions and form Facebook groups. Anyway, there are worse bands and plenty of far better ones. Note: I listened to the Minutemen's Double Nickels on the Dime in its entirety for the first time following this, borne out of a need to hear a record from 1984 that contains some real element of human emotion and probability.

Will I Listen to it Again: No, though I'm sure I'll hear "Hold Me Now" again in my life. More than once.


FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD "WELCOME TO THE PLEASUREDOME" 2xLP

Welcome to another record I won't be playing again (sorry, I can't resist). Not having any familiarity with Frankie Goes to Hollywood apart from the two hit singles ("Relax" and "Two Tribes") and the ephemeral FRANKIE SAY t-shirt campaign of 1984, I really had little to prepare me for what is ultimately an overwhelmingly slight collection of covers ("Born to Run," "Ferry Cross the Mersey," "Do You Know the Way to San Jose," "War," etc.), loose jazzy jams and two-chord dance grooves that can barely be counted as tunes. What silliness. I have some degree of respect for these cats' chutzpah and their ability to forge brief careers for themselves out of thin air. I can appreciate some of the synth-funk basslines and Trevor Horn's lush production (he's the real star here), but really.

Will I Listen to it Again: No. The less time and thought devoted to this one, the happier I'll be. It was never meant to be remembered, whether fondly or otherwise.


GO-GOS "TALK SHOW" LP

Of all the records I've selected for this (ill-advised?) listening project, this is the one I feel the greatest pressure to like. They have their roots in the original Hollywood punk scene, were friends with the Germs, represented the first self-made all-woman rock group to ascend to the top of the charts, and their place in the annals of rockdom is assured and uncontested. But do I like their music? The hits, sure. I even own a battered copy of Beauty & The Beat (somewhere) and have played it at least once despite its scratches.

Well, on first rush, it sounds okay and sounds like the Go-Gos. The only part I remembered from "Head Over Heels" is the chorus and the factoid that Belinda C. wore a Jennifer Beals-style torn sweatshirt in the rock video. The guitar sounds are fairly rough and buzz-y. The tunes are short and to-the-point. It's got a punchy Monkees (or Dickies?) feel here and there. The vocals hit a sour note on occasion (especially in "Turn to You") but at least she's pushing herself beyond her perceived limits. The ballads and slower numbers fulfill their contractual requirements, probably, but at least have audible electric guitars to nudge them forwards.

Will I Listen to it Again: Yeah, I might, like in the car on a road trip. It's Southland Highway music.